If you shop for food, prep and cook it, then clear the table and load the dishwasher, and then later your spouse empties the dishwasher, thank them for doing that, and feel it. It's such a big part of happiness in marriage.
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It leads to a feedback loop of appreciation for the little things as well as the big. Find a middle ground. There's always a middle ground. They may not come quickly or easily, they may not be comfortable, and they may take some creativity, but very few problems are truly big enough that a compromise cannot be reached. He, on the other hand, likes attention and comfort when he's mad.
Because of that, I've learned to be more affectionate in times of stress. Sometimes it isn't. If the answer is yes, find out how soon that can realistically happen. You might decide to rent instead.
Do both of you need your own car? How new of a car do you expect to drive?
Before You Tie the Knot: A Guide for Couples – WB Connect
How often will you want to upgrade? Take into account insurance and repair costs. Some people prefer to put it all into savings, and others like having it to spend on leisure. Do you dream of owning an RV and traveling the country in the next ten years? Or perhaps your goal is to retire early. Or your spouse wants to save enough to start their own business.
Discuss any future dreams, and understand which ones are important enough to turn into a reality. Do you plan on having children? Hopefully, this question was also answered before you reached the altar. If you do want children, how will you prepare for them financially?
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Will you be able to afford the extra space it takes to start a family? How much will you save for their education?
5 Happy Marriage Habits to Start Before You Tie the Knot
On the other hand, many couples choose to be child-free. Maybe you want children of the four-legged variety. Will you be able to support them in every way that they need? Many of us have extensive travel dreams. Does one of you want to see the world before they turn 40? How many vacation days can each of you take a month? How many vacations does each of you expect in a year?
We live in a day and age where most people are saddled with student loan debt.
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It can take years or even decades to pay it off. You want to make sure your spouse is aware of your debt, and how you plan to pay it off. And how will you go about paying off lines of credit in the future?
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What guidelines do you expect both of you to follow regarding using credit cards? How each of you handles money is important.
Is one of you more responsible with finances? Does one of you have trouble handling money? Be sure you both understand your household budget. It can be a lot of pressure for one spouse to scrutinize and monitor the finances, while the other one is reckless with money.