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The North (And Almost Everything In It) by Paul Morley

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The book's exhaustiveness in detailing everything from the British Midland air crash of through to the exact number of fishmongers in Liverpool in and the possible route taken by the author's father on his way to commit suicide in , tugs us through forests of commas, via serpentine digressions and bewildering paradoxes, in sentences so long that you soon forget how they begun, and make you crave that most northern cure-all, a lie down in a darkened room. When reading it, don't do what I did, which was start at the beginning.

Instead go round the back, which seems appropriately northern.

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Even so, the book partly redeems itself by its passion and chutzpah. Liverpool, moving, Liverpool, moving cotton, sugar, slaves, invoices, music, ideas here, there and everywhere …" Writers who wish to avoid hoots of southern derision would do well to avoid sentences like: "There was only one tree in our garden, which never produced any leaves.

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